Feeling very useless.

Ugh y’all I was doing SO good with self love and self care and then he came into my life...

I got excited, started hoping things would go well and almost painting this picture of perfection - and for months it was perfect. Till he left.

No goodbye, it was skipped out plans, the last 3 dates I sat alone in my bedroom with my purse on the floor waiting for the phone call to tell me he was in the driveway, I got all dressed up only to cry my makeup off.

With a call in the morning of “ I’m sorry, something happened and I couldn’t make it.” And then we’d plan something for the next weekend and it’s happened like I said, the last 3 weeks in a row. First his phone broke, then he was out too late with his parents, and then I got the ever so cliche “ I fell asleep.” And now he hasn’t texted me or called or even shown up to my house in a week, I literally hate this.

I swore up and down to everyone that this was the man I wanted to be with. And I assumed he wanted to be with me...I shamelessly miss him and I haven’t even looked at another man or anything since he stood me up last. I feel useless, and I feel gross and like absolute shit and I just want everything to go back to normal and I want to feel his lips again and hear him laugh. I know that it’s stupid to still miss him but I can’t help it.