Are we being THOSE parents.. you know the ones who are difficult and expecting too much

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Ok I work at my son’s preschool. He’s ok the nursery program for 1-2 year olds. I literally work in the next room over with 2-3 year olds.

Here’s what’s going on. His class has at most ever 8 kids and 3 teachers. Most days it’s 5 kids or less 3 teachers in the am and 2 in the pm

I’m new at this job. My son is new to school. His teachers are new this year and my director is new too.

We are potty training at home (he’s 21 months and goes 98% of the time we put him on before and after meals before and after sleeping pretty easy right) well they said they can’t give him specialized attention for this (I have 18 kids in my room all who are potty training and they ALL get specialized attention) they have a potty in the room but refuse to use it so he keeps peeing on the changing table and getting his clothes wet and I keep telling them how to solve this problem ...

So today my husband picked up. My son was strapped in a chair sitting at a table alone. They said oh he’s just playing .. he likes to do that.

Then they say he peed through his diaper and his pants are wet but they didn’t change him...

So my husband called the director of the school and she defended them. She said if we don’t like it we can leave or have him here less times. She said she agreed he couldn’t get special attention (potty training is special attention ??? )

My husband also mentioned that he’s developmentally on level with kids in my room. The director agreed but said since I’m Teaching there he couldn’t be in my room (even though she told me she was her daughters preschool teacher for 3 years) so my husband asked would you feel comfortable stunting your kids academic growth and she said no but stood her ground. ( there’s no rule saying teachers and parents can’t be in the same room)

So my question is are we overreacting? Is the director right ? Are the teachers right ?

We’re getting a discount there since I work there but is it worth it ? Should I look into other schools? What would you do ?