How to let go of your birth dream

So I have two incredible kids for which I am eternally thankful for. But their births were traumatic- both c-sections for various reasons- mainly bc doctors were impatient. Anyways, I always dreamed of having that ‘moment’ where you birth your baby and get to hold them. That never happened for me. Now the hub and I are talking about having another, our last, and I am so resistant to being coerced into more surgery. It’s hard seeing everyone else in your circle get the birth experience you wanted (by no means am I jealous, very very happy for others who get to have that), I just feel sad and sometimes ‘cheated’ (even though I’m still thankful). Anywho, should I just accept surgery and give up that dream? Or try and find a different provider? Just venting, thanks ladies!