This was with my toxic ex. We were both standing and he pulled my panties down and bent me over and stuck his dick inside me, the whole time im saying no and stop and trying to get up from him pushing me on the bed to bend my back. He thrusted in me about 8-10 times while i was saying stop and no then he said “every time you say no i know you want it” that wasn’t true tho. And this time i just said “fine” and bene over on the bed and just let myself lay there and i just laid with no expression on my face, no moaning, no pleasure, until he quickly finished

I remember thinking i didnt want to fight against his force of pushing me down because i didnt want to let it turn into a bigger and worse situation

At that point sex wasn’t enjoyable for me at all in that relationship. He had no respect for me. He just fucked me for his pleasure and there was so much disconnect. I was 18 and we were in college. It was to the point where i thought sex was boring and wondered (is this it) i felt no pleasure anytime we had sex and he would always force me to give him head.

This was a year and a half ago and although I’ve moved on and grown tremendously from this situation i cant help but think about this from time to time.

Im from southern California btw