Fathers parental rights

I’m not married to my BD we got 2 kids under 3 we live together but don’t get along he’s on their birth certificate. He’s the ultimate liar/manipulative I’m raising the kids alone essentially he’s goneall the time comes home at 7 goes to gym in bed in his room by 9!!! He smokes pot in the house the electric kind you cannot detect he cannot watch the kids at all he’s so distracted doesn’t change diapers or feed them nothing. I gave up my career on Wall Street to raise them, he’s making his $$$ and getting free maid/cook/nanny/personal shoper!! I have uprooted my elderly parents to help me and have no family around here the house is his idk what to do he keeps talking about joint custody and I am sick worried he’ll harm the kids getting behind the wheel high/drunk making 90mph. How the hell do I get 100% rights for my children? I don’t want his child support