Idk what think

sorry to rant I just need someone to talk to me

I’m adopted and I’ll just say that it has really cause mental health issues. I LOVE my adoptive family they raised me since the day I was born I never met my biological parents and it really messes with me not know who where or what I came from, I’m visibly white but there’s always more under the skin than you might think. I live with one of my biological brothers which is pretty rare but him and I don’t have a good relationship :( if I were to ask how his day was he would probably think I was kidding or that I was high 😂😂 but the fact that I don’t (and feel like I can’t) have a regular convo with him makes me sad, I get jealous when I see people having a good relationship with their siblings. Knowing that I have other siblings makes me sad, I could have really good relationships with them but I’m not allowed to meet them until I’m 18 (I’m currently 16) it scares me tho what if they don’t like me what if I get my hopes up what if when I turn 18 something gets in the way and I can’t meet them. Family in my mind is who raises you and impacts your life so technically my bio family isn’t family in my mind they’re just my genes and dna

The few times I’ve asked about my bio parents or sibling it just turns into a crying fest and I don’t get answers they say “we love you why does it matter” I’m a teenager I’m curious I wanna know who I am and it CONSTANTLY feels like something is missing and I know that I can’t fill that hole at least for a while which SUCKS bc this pain is really overwhelming.

I could go on... but I won’t thanks for listening 💗💗💗💗