2 weeks early baby

So baby girl was due 7th December, she came 2 weeks earlier with an unexpected c-section.

What a awful experience! So I had dilation 5 cm but the baby’s heartbeat wasn’t that good. The anesthetic was awful and rude!

The epidural didn’t work

After the c-section I didn’t see the baby for 2 hours because I had to recover in the recovery until my legs were awake.

After that I had a curled up bladder catheter and after that my painkiller (pain pump) disconnected.

I’m now feeling so guilty because I have no motherly feeling against my daughter.

We did a fertility treatment and I had a fantastic pregnancy and she is so welcome but I don’t have that instinct like other mothers. My feelings were bigger when I was pregnant.

She is gorgeous but it’s all so unreal.