Sleep help!

Hey ladies! I'm posting this anonymously because I'm sure I'll get alot of negative flack and I really don't need to deal with that right now 😞

My little one is now 3 months old. Pretty much from day one, his sleeping has been rough. First, he wouldn't sleep unless he was sleeping on someone so my husband and I took 4 hour shifts. Then he got over that and was still waking every 2 hours to be fed which I did!

Then we had the hardest time getting him to sleep alone in our bedroom. We tried numerous different types of beds, dim lights, no lights, white noise, no noise, he would only sleep if he was in our bed. Some nights I would get lucky and once he fell asleep I could move him into his own bed, but most nights he would wake up again and cry. I wasn't getting any sleep cause I was so scared! I ended up buying a dog bed (don't laugh!) And he sleeps in the dog bed in our bed because I was so afraid of rolling on him or something bad happening but this way is safer! He even started sleeping for 6 hours, wakes to eat then sleeps another 4 hours.

Now, he fights sleeping at night and napping like crazy. He will be so tired but he fights falling asleep. I've been trying to get him into a sleep routine and not keeping him awake for too long and once I see he's starting to get tired, I put him in his sleep swing and try to let him fall asleep on his own. When he finally sleeps, it's only for 20 mins. I've tried him napping in his dog bed downstairs (instead of upstairs in the swing) but still only 20 mins.

Getting him to go to sleep at night is becoming a 3-4 hour thing. I change him, feed him, burp him, he will fight to fall asleep, I rock/bounce him to sleep, he finally falls asleep, I put him down, 5 mins later he's awake again, and crying. Check to make sure he isn't hot or cold, feed again, diaper again, burp again, bounce again, put him down, 5 mins later he's crying. Rinse and repeat. I feel like I have no other options after 4 hours to let him cry himself to sleep. I did it last night and he only cried for 10 mins and fell asleep. I feel awful! I hear about psychology damaging your baby and they will just learn no one will care for them. During the day, I'm always paying attention to him, cuddling, talking, floor time, tummy time, exercises, walks, etc so he's not neglected at all and I don't let him cry all night. When he wakes up at night I will feed and change him and he usually goes right back to sleep.

My mom says him crying for 10 mins is fine, my MIL says it's too long. I just don't know how to make him sleep when he's fighting sleep and won't sleep!

Am I terrible?! Are there other options?! I'm open to helpful advice!