Need some advice

I'm currently with the guy I'm dating and we are exclusive. It's been 3 months and He's steadily falling for me but my feelings haven't developed as fast as his.

Now an ex from 2 years ago recently crossed paths with me. We bumped into eachother. We talked and he told me he still has feelings for me and he knows I'm the one for him. We talked quite indeptly about our past relationship and he wholeheartedly apologised for all the things he did, major and small. My ex and I broke up because I thought he wasn't serious after a year of him not trying to claim me as his partner. However after finally talking transparently, his reasons were that he wasn't ready to settle down. He felt he wasn't in a place in his life to maintain a gf and treat me the way he knows a man should, but at the same time he didn't want to lose me and he knew it was selfish and hurtful to me.

He couldn't stop apologising and said he matured over time and got his life together - house, car, career and now he finally has his chance to say all of this to me and hopefully win me back. If not, at least let me know how truly sorry he is.

I was overwhelmed and shocked because I forced myself to get over him. I fell for him while he constantly pushed away the undeniable connection we had. I had to respect myself and leave. As much as I hate to admit it, he was my best friend and love of my life. It was like a whirlwind romance. After him Ive never really been the same.

Stupidly I gave my number to him. Now I feel like a cheat. Weve been talking pretty much everyday since and I can feel my feelings coming back. So I told him we can only be friends because of my current man. It hurts to say that but Its unfair on my man.

Now I've withdrawn from both because I feel sick to my stomach for talking to both these men with invested feelings. I feel like I'm running from the situation. I don't know what to do. Because apart of me wants my ex another wants my current.

I don't deserve my current good guy. I wish I could feel the same way he feels for me but I don't right now. I can't tell him about my ex because it will crush him... Maybe i should be honest with him as I was with my ex....?

Right now I pretty much feel crap