My post pertains to being overweight but also over 30, so hoping someone can offer advice! Hoping someone has been in my shoes.

My husband and I have a 2 (almost 2 1/2 year old daughter). We conceived her within 2-3 months of trying and I gave birth when I was 31 years old. Finances have prevented us from trying to expand our family, as well as wanting to enjoy time with her before expanding our family. Back when we met almost 4 years ago, we both said we wanted at least 2 kids, maybe 3. I also said I had a limit of 35. I didn’t want to have all the extra issues that can happen being pregnant over 35. The thing is I was borderline overweight when I got pregnant with #1 and I haven’t lost all the weight and am more than I’d want to be, just said if I got pregnant I’d have to really watch how I ate to gain minimal weight. I’m also on anxiety meds that some docs consider “high risk” but I was on it for my entire first pregnancy and our daughter is absolutely perfect. My age bothers me and the term “geriatric” bothers me, which is what it’d be considered even if I conceived when still 34 (as I am now) but gave birth after turning 35. My husband and I decided back in early June we wanted to try for #2. My “deadline” to get pregnant and give birth before 35 was at the end of this year, and we both wanted another so badly. Unfortunately AF visited this month and it was the last month we could conceive where I could carry a baby and give birth prior to turning 35. When we started trying we said it would happen when/if we were meant to have another. I have AF right now and I’m finding I’m sad that it’s the end of my “deadline” to conceive and I know my husband, while he respects my choice, is “bummed” and feels we are giving up too soon.

Part of me doesn’t want to give up yet. Part of me feels that since I’m overweight and on my medication for anxiety (I cannot go off of, but again caused no issues during pregnancy #1 or any issues with our daughter after) are scary enough, but adding in my age and that I’d be over the dreaded 35 year mark when delivering if we continue to try scares me. I feel like we have so much to offer another child and it’s a dream of my husband’s and mine to have #2, but I’ve had this deadline for years.

I know risks are there with being overweight, then add in my age and I am torn. Hoping someone out there has been in my shoes and can offer advice.

Part of me thinks I’d regret giving up, regardless of my “deadline” I’ve had for so long, but another part of me thinks I’ve got too many risk factors (the 3 listed above).

I talked to my OBGYN (that I had for my first pregnancy) in August and he said age isn’t an issue really when I have other factors that make me “high risk”, but didn’t seem overly concerned.

Any suggestions ladies? Do I throw in the towel over an age deadline? Over weight concerns because I didn’t lose like I’d have wanted to and now my coming age will add another “high risk factor”. Or do I do what would make my husband so happy (and me) and keep trying, despite reservations being at the end of my deadline now with AF visiting.

My husband told me today that he feels if we tried a little longer we’d have success, it’s his gut instinct, and part of me feels that way too.... I’m just scared.... really scared of making the wrong choice and regretting it. Hoping someone else has been in my shoes and can offer advice!