I had a miscarriage last night

I was 9 weeks. It was the most traumatic experience I’ve ever had. My heart is broken. I went to the ER for severe bleeding and was left to sit in a growing pool of my own blood in a wheelchair for hours. I felt it when I passed the baby in the waiting room. I wasn’t rushed back until I passed out and bled all over the floor through towels and pads. I honestly thought for a moment that I was going to die. It was all treated so medically and without sympathy and I’m broken. My husband is broken. I don’t feel like my heart will ever heal from this hurt. I wanted this baby more than anything and was already so in love. I know that it couldn’t have been prevented and I did nothing wrong but I can’t help but feel like I did something terrible to deserve this. I’ve ruined Christmas for my family. I don’t know what to do.