Struggles

I find myself struggling to orgasm either by myself or with my long term partner. I haven't been able to orgasm yet (or if I have I haven't been able to acknowledge it?) And I want to change that.

When I think I'm getting close, I feel overwhelmed and like I need to stop because the feeling is so intense.

What can I do to get over this hurdle? Will it get easier once it happens for the first time?