SO with mental health problems

Days like today and I can’t help but think how much easier it would be without him. I have bad depression and anxiety but I can cope without meds. He has ADD, depression, anxiety, and there has to be something else because the way he acts isn’t normal. His psychiatrist said the same thing.

Anyway, he’s on four different meds and Adderall is what he takes for ADD. That used to be the only med he was on but he was finally prescribed some mood stabilizers and he’s been doing so good. He would have anger problems, suicidal episodes, bad depression.

Now, we rarely have issues. But because of his ADD he’s very forgetful and constantly losing things. Including his meds. He lost 3 weeks worth of Adderall and he’s always tired and depressed without it. He also gets anger and suicidal episodes. His psychiatrist said this is not a normal reaction, but hasn’t said what could be causing it.

This morning he got mad and threw a chair at the wall and broke a hole into it. He calls me names when he gets mad. I called the police because of the damage. He never stays mad for more than ten minutes but he can’t control himself when it happens and it scares me that he’ll eventually hurt himself or get a property damage charge.

It’s just so exhausting. He feels so bad about it afterwards and, well, he should. But feeling bad doesn’t fix hundreds of dollars in damage. He sees a therapist and psychiatrist regularly and takes his meds regularly, but this isn’t the first time he’s lost his Adderall and at some point they’re going to think he’s selling it. He’s definitely not, he’s just likes to keep them on him. Which he will not be doing once he gets a refill. I’ve made that clear.

He’s doing everything he can and cooperating with everyone trying to treat his mental health issues but god it just gets so tiring. I just wish I knew what causes his anger. We already eliminated bipolar disorder. I truly think it’s autism (a nurse at the ER suggested it too) but he hasn’t had a diagnosis of it.

I guess I’m looking for support or advice. I’m waiting on a call from his psychiatrist to see what we should do. I’m just tired.