Me and my mom don’t get along

Hi everyone

So me and my mom never get along. Literally never. From the day I know my self until now we just don’t get along. It’s too much of abuse to talk about but it was all there, she verbally, mentally and physically abused me my whole entire life. Even after I got married and had a child. I was still living with her. I got a divorce and stayed with her and things got even worse. I felt like she hated me so much but she needed me because I cooked and cleaned everyday that was my life. Infront of people she is an angel and talks good about me but when it’s just me and her and my child things are never okay. I was always the last to go to bed because I had to clean after everyone while they all headed to bed. When I’m done cleaning I’d go to bed and in the morning if I’m not up early and breakfast is not ready she would literally kick the door in and drag me out of bed and onto the kitchen. I cooked at least 3 times a day breakfast lunch and dinner for the whole family. I also babysit my nephews and nieces whenever they’re parents are out for a movie night. It was just a very stressful life. Even my daughter was living a miserable life with no father around. I dragged her with me into this life. One day an incident happened, I put a movie on for the kids and locked the doors and had to use the restroom. So I told them not to go anywhere until I come back, but when I came out of the restroom they were all gone. They left the house and were outside crossing a busy street with fast cars going. I panicked and ran as fast as I can to get them but my mom and their moms just came back from the mall and they managed to get them back but obviously they were all super mad at me. My mother came and yelled so loud at me infront of everyone she yelled at the kids and my child who is 7 years old was crying and my mom said to my child “your a bitch and your mom is a bitch” as she start physically hitting my child with a small stick and that’s when I flipped and lost control. I pushed my mom to the floor and I looked her in the eye and said “ this is my child , I let you do whatever u want to me because I’m yours but this is my child don’t you ever think of touching my child again” and I took my child’s hand and left the house but I had no where to go. Few minutes later came back to my room. I insisted on moving out but my job doesn’t pay me much so I couldn’t actually afford to move out. So my father finally stepped in and gave me the upper floor. So me and my child live upstairs and my mom is downstairs. A year passed, me and my mom don’t talk but if I do see her by coincidence I do say hi and I give her a quick hug even though she faces me a nasty stare. But I’m still lost. Sometimes I want things to work out with my mom but if it does I’m just gonna have to live that old life again and be her maid and babysitter. I’m pretty happy with things right now but I’m also avoiding going with her anywhere especially to family parties or gatherings because it always gets awkward how she stares at me and always looks for a spot to sit away from me. I haven’t been to anybody’s house and they are all wondering what’s going on. Some are making up rumors that I’m disrespectful to my mom . My husband is waiting for his visa so he can come but that’s gonna take a few years so I’m planning to take my daughter and go live with him. Even though there’s a war in that country but I really don’t know what to do. All my paycheck money goes for water electricity and gas bills and I manage to save something for groceries to cook for me and my daughter. I’m really tired, and stressed and very very depressed. I have really bad anxiety that keeps me up all night. I don’t know what do to. The only reason I want to stay strong is for my child. I don’t want to go anywhere until I guarantee my child a happy and complete life. Sorry if i said too much, sometimes you just feel better allying to strangers and get it all out of your chest. Any advice is or input is welcome 🙏