I want a baby but my SO does not...Advice?

Question

Before my husband and I married we talked about having kids. We don’t use any type of birth control and he always finishes in me. I haven’t gotten pregnant yet and it’s been almost a year, so I assume something must be wrong and I wanted to make a doctors appointment to get checked out. We get into a huge argument because apparently he’s changed his mind. I want kids, always have. If he doesn’t want the same things I do anymore than what’s the point. I love this man with everything in me but I don’t want to give up my opportunity of being a mother. He asked me if I would leave him because he doesn’t want anymore kids(he has two from a previous marriage)...I told him I would. He then goes to say how he wouldn’t mind if we had more. I don’t want to force him into this and I know he’s just saying he doesn’t care now because I said I would leave. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?

Answer

That stinks because he changed his mind. If one person isn’t on board, my opinion is you shouldn’t try. It can be the source of many marital problems. Best wishes.

Answer

I wouldn’t force him into having kids because what if when you have kids he isn’t interested in their lives. He neglects them or something like that. 
And he definitely shouldn’t say ok  and have  kids just  because you want them and he is afraid you will leave him if he doesn’t give you any.
That’s a tough situation. If kids are something you really want in life then make sure you have them with somebody who is on the same page as you Never have them with somebody who isn’t.  
Best of luck.

Answer

Marriage is not just about living each other. You really need shared goals and values. It's also about negotiation and compromise. But there are some deal breakers. It's hard when one person has a change of mind.
My husband didn't plan for children, but it was a deal breaker for me. I loved him but it was a life goal for me. He changed his mind and said he would have children with me. I felt the same way you did. I didn't want to be forcing him into something he didn't want. I didn't want him to resent me.  He has never reneged on this agreement, but occasionally, like when our daughter had colic, he would say something like "well you wanted this", or something dreadful happens on the news he will say "well this is why I didn't want to bring a child into this world". He does love our daughter with all his heart, and he doesn't regret her. But I can tell he doesn't like missing out on opportunities or experiences. He's a little immature at times. We all have to make choices and compromises. We can't eat our cake and have it too. But my husband lives for his family. We are the centre of his world. Our daughter had brought so much love and joy to his life. 
I would give it a few weeks before checking in with your husband again on this issue, to make sure this is the choice he wants to make. All you can do is take him at his word. This may be a compromise he is willing to make for your marriage.

Answer

Clearly no preventing it both know what can happen.. he may be like my husband who doesn’t /didn’t want more but would tell you we have sex and there is always that chance so he wouldn’t be mad either. We have a11 and 8 year old and had both decided we were done last year an then bam I was pregnant again he didn’t get made or emotional as we both knew it could happen .. so maybe that’s how he feels too?

I want a baby but my SO does not...Advice?

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