Smugness in people and how to deal?

Question

One person who I run into a lot got pregnant and had a baby all within the two-year time span that I have been trying. She knew we were trying at the same time and has made a few snide comments about if I have gotten my period and when am I going to have a baby? Etc She also whined so badly for the three months it took her to get pregnant about how she didn’t want to take hormones. Then she got pregnant and I have done nine intensive fertility treatments over the past 2 1/2 years all of which have failed.
She has been extremely smug about having had her baby and had her conception happen so easily, and all throughout her pregnancy and since her baby was born. She also tried to push me out of a friendship that she has with another woman we know who also had a baby within two months of her. She goes out of her way to make me feel left out between the two of them since they had a baby so close together.
 I try to ignore it and just try to fake happiness for her and her baby as much as I can but she is so smug and so nasty. How do others deal with this? Has anyone else encountered this in pregnant people and how do you handle it or what do you do? Do you just ignore these people and try to cut them from your life? What if you can’t a.k.a. they live in your town or close by etc.

Answer

Thank you all so much for all of these wise words. It really really helps you have no idea. This is such a helpful supportive community and you make me feel brave than I can face someone so horrible every day and keep my chin up and just ignore her. I’m going to surround myself with people who love me and support me and are not petty and jealous. 
We are in this together and I know it will happen for every single one of us we just have to keep our head up and keep trying. Even through the darkest hardest times and we have to know that we are going to come out of this and be even stronger at the other end.

Answer

I’ve had some similar instances where people have said inappropriate things or made sure to make me feel like the odd man out.  
I used to just smile and sit quietly but now   I’m  kinda a dick about it and will say things like “well have a wonderful night. I’m planning to sleep a solid and uninterrupted 10 hours, eat cookies for breakfast, and lay on the couch in my underwear all day watching Netflix”. 😊

Answer

I have some friends at work that never want to have children and it’s perfectly fine. When people ask me now I just say I don’t know, life is perfect, not making any plans just yet. 
Some people think having children is a must and I think they need their eyes opening. I know at the moment we all feel like that but i still think other people need to realising it’s not the purpose of being happy, I have a wonderful husband who I have fun with and we enjoy life. There are other things in life. (Although inside I’m desperate!)

Answer

Well I have this one person in life who made a statement of "What a pity on you, you are not yet pregnant!" And she said that to me in my work when I was only married for 2 months. (didnt have sex or live together before marriage) . One time, I was on the street ,walking with a friwnd then a car suddenly slowed down near us. The street was a busy street and she had to slow down just to yell" Are you pregnant yet?". My god! I'd love to grab her hair by that time and drag her down the street like who the hell is she. I barely know her. We're not even friends. She works in our company but she's in a different division so Yeah. And by the way. Shes the reason I started streaaing about getting pregnant on my third month and now this is our 16th cycle with no luck. I guess im overstressed thinking about how to get a bfp so dont let these people get you. I say you walk out the next time you see these people. Dont let them have a chance to talk to u

Answer

At work, it really angers me when people I’m dealing with say, have u got kids, No, don’t have them. I just want to swear in the their face and tell them they don’t know how lucky they are. 
Obviously I restrain myself!

Answer

She does sound pretty nasty, but for people that don’t know what itslike to struggle with fertility, they have no way of empathizing at all.  It may just be easiest to cut her out of your life for now. 
I have realized over the past three years that many people just don’t realize that their words or actions are hurtful to someone struggling. 
My sil started trying last January and had her baby this past weekend. I am so happy for her. A year ago I would have been pissed bc “she got pregnant easily”. I can’t wish disfortune on someone else, just because I am having to wait a little longer. She knows exactly what we are going through but has no idea what it feels like. I can’t expect her to, because she has never experienced it.  I throw her a grain of salt all the time and just know my journey is personal to me. 
You will get pregnant. It will happen.

Answer

I wouldn’t even be fake happy. Sounds like someone who u don’t need in your life. Cross the street to avoid her. U don’t need that negativity.

Answer

Oh man! I’d cut that person out. I’ve had so many friends and colleagues get pregnant in the 2.5yrs is ttc and it always stings, but no one has acted like that! We are too old for that drama- if it’s not a super important friendship I’d be tempted to let it fade.

Smugness in people and how to deal?

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