I have been strong but it’s hard

I have been strong since our miscarriage in December but my friend form high school was only a few weeks farther along then I was we were due only weeks apart. And wow has it been hard seeing her plan and be excited, all I want is to be excited for her but I can’t help but feel hurt, upset and jealous. I know it’s not okay but it’s how I feel and then it makes me feel worse because I know it’s not okay and it’s for sure not her fault so why do I feel this way. She’s planning her gender reveal, her baby shower and will be holding her baby all when I should have been going through this as well and it’s so hard . We started trying again this month and I am hoping we end pregnant soon. But until then how am I supposed to get rid of these negative feelings ? And to top it off the baby was due on my birthday so there’s that too.