I’m proud but also curious.. long story ahead

so as some of you know, i suffer with anxiety, extremely bad. so today i’ve felt really shit.. i’ve felt unwell and gross and my stomach has been making weird noises and feeling bubbly all day. this is because of my anxiety and eating problems i already know. so yesterday was mine and my boyfriends 1 year anniversary and we went out for food and a walk but i became unwell and therefore we didn’t have sex. baring in mind, i’ve never cum with my boyfriend, i’ve only done it by myself when no one was there. obviously i enjoyed having sex but i never finished, he always did before i had a chance to even feel remotely close. because of me feeling shitty today, i just thought “fuck it” and decided to actually just do whatever the fuck i want and not let my anxiety get in the way.

me and boyfriend decided we’ll have sex. i was proper turned on and i swear i have never been this horny in the past year of me having sex 😂😂 so we started and then after like a minute of missionary, he came. i was kinda disappointed but also glad he came. he went to the toilet and sorted himself out and i stayed in bed. as soon as he got back into bed then i grabbed his hand and made him finger me! i was like “there is no way i’m getting nothing out of this”. so he started fingering me and i started to feel it then. he stops and jumped on top and we both got really excited. as we were going at it, i started to rub myself too.. get the adrenaline going a bit 😂 and as i was doing that... I FINALLY CAME!! i swear it was the best best feeling ever. like i said, i’ve climaxed whilst masterbating but never with my boyfriend so this is the best feeling ever for me right now. however, after i finished i became really fucking tired and i didn’t pay attention to the other people in the house that might’ve heard me but oh well, you only live once😂i’m pretty sure he was glad that i came too, he said after that he’s been waiting for that for a year lmao. i also started to feel slightly sick? is that normal? or is that because of excitement?

anyway... i am so fucking happy that i did it finally and i now no what pornstars feel like, another plus is that i don’t feel no where near as anxious and icky as i did earlier and i might have a better sleep tonight now 😂 ugh girl gimme credit😂