Working moms

I went back to work this past week and while being away and working was fine I have this guilt of having someone else watch my daughter.

My younger brother doesn’t work so I pay him some money to come stay with her three days a week.

However I feel so guilty for putting this “burden” on him. This baby is my responsibility and I feel so awful for putting her on him and having him deal with her crying and poops (we cloth diaper) and sitting around my house making baby faces with her.

My husband doesn’t understand where I am coming from at all and goes on talks about how family is there for this and blah blah blah but both of us never had a family support as both of our families are really messed up and we have primarily relied on each other for the whole time we knew each other.

I have never been big on family in the first place.

I love my little girl and want to be home but my husband insists I work to help pay off our car and student loans even tho we could get by without me working.

Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? I feel like a terrible person