What God laid on my heart

I grew up going to church school and following God’s word the best way I could. The past several years, God has been a stranger in my life. I’ve strayed away and have even felt that God has forgotten about me. After struggling for four years to conceive and having two failed ivfs, I decided that something needed to change. I was down, feeling lost and almost giving up all hope. I was desperate. My friend invited me to come to church and I was kind of iffy about it and after several weeks of saying I would go, I finally did today. Guys, I feel so refreshed. It felt so good that I cried. I did a devotional today and it had me thinking... what if God is letting me go through this tough season in my life for a reason? What if all of the tough times in my life happened for a reason? The past few months, my husband and I have been talking about adoption. Adoption is something that has always been on my heart. I’ve always felt that one day I would adopt. I went through foster care and it was one of the toughest times of my life. (So I thought at the time) After that, I’ve always had a tugging on my heart to adopt a child in need of love and a safe home. I’m also a nanny and know that I CAN love a child who is not biologically mine. I have fallen in love with every child I have watched and have stayed in touch with every family. I’m so blessed to have such amazing relationships with each one of them. I can’t help but wonder if God knew my path to parenthood might include adoption, long before I even went through infertility and that’s why I went through these things and if that’s why I became a nanny. My husband and I decided that we will adopt, regardless if we get pregnant or not.