Gotta stop smoking again 😞

I stopped smoking several months before ttc, was doing so good until I miscarried in October. I literally got off the phone with the dr and went straight to the gas station and bought a pack. Smoking has always been my stress crutch and it’s the only way I knew how to cope with everything. I haven’t been able to stop since though. I’ve tried a couple of times but I’ll do good for a few days then wake up from a dream or something about the baby and I’m right back to where I started. We’re ttc again and I know it affects fertility and increases the chances of miscarriage again but God it’s freaking hard to stop. It doesn’t help that i get super crabby when I go cold turkey and my husband is horribly unsupportive so we just fuss for days at a time till I end up smoking again cause I’m so stressed out. Sorry y’all, I just needed to whine for a minute.