Ok. It’s been a few days and I just feel like I want to get my thoughts out. My now ex boyfriend will be called Ralph. Ralph decided to break up with me Saturday after ten months of dating. He’s in ait for IT right now. Only has three months and two weeks of air borne left. He told me he finally got his orders and they’re to fort Bragg. I live in Colorado but will have to move out of state when I graduate in five months. He knows that. Ralph claimed that he doesn’t want to get married yet therefore we could never live together during the two years he’ll be in Bragg. But he has issues with being alone and being

away from me. He also claimed that he has matured and I haven’t. He claimed that I’m still an amazing person although I haven’t. He claimed the connection is gone. He claimed that the whole time he was here for hbl he wanted to break up. Yet he let me pick his family over my own to spend Christmas break with. Although he knew I was only doing it to be with him since I have terrible anxiety especially during that time since they don’t have routine like I require. He claimed he didn’t want to ruin how happy I was. I was happy because I thought I had my loving boyfriend back whom I thought I was in one of the best spots our relationship has ever been in. Things seemed fine. I gave him at least 100$ worth of items that he loved for Christmas. He gave me nothing. I didn’t say a word about it nor got upset because he does other things for me like buys me food while I’m at his families house. I got him the gifts in appreciation for him doing those kinds of things. But yes. Saturday he broke up with me. One of the reasons was because he didn’t want to be alone. But now he’s really alone. He wanted some one to be there with him. But now he doesn’t have anyone. I could’ve moved to that state near the base. We could’ve been together but not fully live together surely? As long as I was close enough to base? I was perfectly ready to move to where he went. I’m perfectly fine with being alone if he had to get deployed or sent to the field or anything. I would wait and be loyal. Hell. I already have been when he’s in basic/ait. He also claimed he’s far more mature than me. Ok. I can see that I guess. But I didn’t know he wanted me to act mature around him 24/7. Hell, he use to start tickle fights before he left. He would blow raspberries on my stomach like a weirdo. We would laugh for hours and watch his dumb anime’s. I don’t like anime but I watched it for him. We still did during his hbl. I can honestly say that I didn’t see the break up coming. I thought we were in one of the best spots of our entire relationship. But no. I’m apparently an immature girl who he lost a “connection” with and lives to far away.

And yes, I’m sure I’m leaving out details here & there and this is a cluttered mess of thought. Please don’t be rude.