I can’t say that to anyone in my life right now. I have been struggling for years with anxiety and depression, mood swings, outbursts and instability in my friendships and relationships. I am terrified of my friends not wanting to be my friends anymore. I’m scared my husband will think I’m a freak or a bad person and leave me and take my son with him. I’m afraid I will lose control and yell at my son or be angry in front of him. I’m supposed to be psychologically evaluated at the end of February, and I told my friends that but I feel like they think there’s nothing wrong with me or I’m exaggerating. I’m so scared, but when I try to talk to them about it they seem to think I shouldn’t be evaluated. I just want answers. When I read the diagnostic criteria for borderline personality disorder, it felt like all the pieces of the puzzle were coming together; my mood swings, my uncontrollable outbursts, my anxiety and depression, my self-harm tendencies and suicidal ideation, and my crippling fear of abandonment. In a way, it made me feel whole, knowing that their could be a key to understanding me and being better. But I can’t tell them that I’m not okay right now. One of my friends got in a fight with me and now I can’t tell her anything. My husband is mad because I got angry about our son waking in the middle of the night. I just have no one. I feel so lost and alone. Please pray for me.