Ever since I found out I was pregnant I’ve felt nothing but guilt and sadness...

That sounds harsh but it’s the truth. And before I found out all I could ever talk about what how bad I wanted to be a mother. I’m not sure what changed. I literally dread the idea of what comes after birth because of what (some) other mothers on social media make it seem like. This is my first btw. My husband and I literally just got married, December 29th. I feel like that time we needed as a married couple is over.

I know I probably sound like the worlds worst mother. I love this baby so much already and I am sooo grateful for this opportunity and experience because I know there are many women who don’t get to go through this. But that feeling of excitement is just not there..