Mentally abusive childhood

All my childhood I was told how big of a fuck up I was, how I never did anything right, that everything I did was never good enough. To this day as an adult this is STILL my mind frame when something happens like a fight between my husband and I.

How do I stop feeling like EVERYTHING is my fault bc I am a piece of shit? I am going on an hour long anxiety attack that keeps flaring just bc my husband and I had a small spat bc I feel like he hates me and I never do anything right for him.