I feel like such a terrible person right now!

So my husband has taken me through more than a fair share of infidelity in our almost 5 years of being together and I have continued to stand by him and idk even know I guess hope for the better. Dumb I know. 🤷 I feel so bad because I am 28weeks pregnant with a boy and I don't want to bring him into this world because of everything that has happened and is happening with us. I have sucked at picking men my entire life and this is my 6th child that I feel I will have to raise on my own. I love my baby with all my heart it just hurts me to know that he more than likely won't have a happy family to be born into. 🤦🤦🤦 I have lost who I was as a person I used to be completely independent and now I am completely dependent on him for everything especially since I'm pregnant my job is being shitty and has only scheduled me like 2 days in the past month. Leaving is not an option right now. I feel even worse because I love this man so much that I would literally rather die than to lose him. When we're good we're great but when it's times like this we are so so bad. 😭😭😭😭🤦🤦🤦🤦 I'm such a mess!!!!