Hey ladies. I’m a 33 year old mom of two, pregnant with my third. And for about 8 years, I struggled with severe anorexia.

At my sickest, I was 85lbs and 5’6”. I stopped menstruating, and a doctor told me I could permanently harm my fertility unless I got help. I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world, so I started a road to recovery. By the time I got pregnant with my son, I was slim but a healthy weight. He saved me.

Since then, I’ve focused on healthy eating, gone to therapy, and I haven’t had a lot of issues around food. It hasn’t controlled me since I had my first baby.

But pregnancy really raises a ton of anxieties in me and lately (I’m 12 weeks with baby 3), I’ve been having a TON of anxiety around food and eating and gaining weight. Sometimes I look at a plate of food and my heart starts racing. I feel like I can’t eat it even though I’m hungry.

I force myself to get close to or meet the recommended calories for my age and height but it just comes with so much stress and pain :’(

Have any of you struggled like this? It’s exhausting how much mental energy it takes just to eat and not obsess or feel bad about it afterwards.

Anyone recovering from an ED have advice or tips? I’m seeing a therapist and baby is healthy but it’s just so freaking hard!!!