Is it weird to say I don’t have the big sister I wanted in terms of confiding in each other?

I just turned 23 years old and my sister just turned 29. My sister and I can talk about movies, fashion, food, music, etc, but I have never been able to talk to my sister candidly without her instantly telling on me or judging me. I can emotionally confide in my mom and friends over my sister any day. My sister told on me so often as a kid I went out of my way to not tell her a damn thing and even when I would try to tell her about guys or shit I was going through she would check out of the conversation and make me feel like whatever I’m trying to express isn’t worth actually listening to.

I think the most irritating thing ever is that if you had a journal or notebook, hell even left your phone unlocked laying around , she’ll be the first one to go through your things. My mom often says she thinks my sister used to go through her phone when she began dating this man who was friends when my aunts husband. She had this massive tantrum about the decisions my mom was making with wanting to be casual with the guy.

I don’t get her at all and it’s actually becoming more and more obvious as we get older that there was a disconnect and I don’t like the way she acts at times, she really is a selfish person. Which by the way, she’s never even told me if she ever kissed or guy or anything! She claims she’s still a Virgin but I overheard while she played a drinking game with her friends say she had sex in car while playing ‘Never Have I Ever’ Who lies about shit like that at her age? She knows I’ve been sexually active since a teenager which she again silently judged me for.

She’s a paradox, she rather invade your privacy instead of dealing with you face to face. I know this may not even make sense at this point and I’m just as confused and my mom and I talk about this quite often. It’s almost like she doesn’t want us to have anyone, not talk about our problems, all the while going through our things while wanting everyone to be at her beck and call. I honestly want to know why she couldn’t be the one I could lean on.

(Excuse the grammatical errors, writing this at 2 am 😴)