i don't really know why, but i'm really afraid to talk to anyone about what's on my mind. at this point, i've said enough to be diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but i just get so much anxiety every time i walk into my therapists room because i'm afraid to get judged. i mean, i know it's their job to listen and give advice, but deep down i feel like anything i tell them is just being laughed at in their heads. i would like to mention my therapist is a really nice person and highly likely would never do that, but isn't it inevitable at one point they're just going to think something like "that's embarrassing" or "wow that's really stupid"? the only reason i post here is because you have anonymity, but i still really want to talk to someone irl about what's going through my mind. i want to feel listened to by someone who doesn't really care that i only have like 2 friends, a nonexistent social life, and other stuff like that.

also, i know that that it's a stupid thought to think, but i just can't ever get it out of my head.