My first pregnancy turned to miscarriage.

I just lost my baby at 5 weeks I had just found out I was pregnant... Idk what I feel rn. I been stressing out since I found out bc of me & my baby fathers relationship, my brother is suffering with kidney failure so he’s been in and out the hospital, my mom is stressed out to the max so I have to worry about her & my dad recently had a stroke in December and isn’t really talking to me at the moment. Also I’ve always said I wanted a great job before I got pregnant I work at Ross and still living with my parents so is my baby’s father. Although I am sad and disappointed about this loss for some reason I can’t help but feel like it wasn’t my time. I don’t want to bring a child in this world and struggle bc that’s not how I was raised. I’ve been in and out the hospital for 3 days now and I’m still waiting for the miscarriage to pass naturally. I can honestly say I am not happy but I am not sad either. I mainly feel a pit of emptiness but I’m also motivated. I will not let this miscarriage define me. I can only do better and I want to be better for my next child.