I change myself for my crushes

Okay this is a huge problem that I just realized.

Whenever I have a crush on someone, whenever I like them a lot; I change myself. I change my habits, I change the music I like, I even change my clothes.

And it’s been like this for such a long time.

Now there’s this guy that I had one night stand with, 7 FCKN MONTHS AGO, and he lives abroad, we met on vacation. And I still think of him time to time. And 5 mins ago I just bought a tshirt which is not my type. It’s smt more like his type. So I realized, “wow, am I really doing this? He won’t even notice me wtf, why the hell am I doing this?”

I also share instagram stories just for him to see me and text me maybe.

I feel so needy. I feel terrible. I feel like I have no self-love.

Do you ladies do these as well? Is it smt that we all do or is it really abnormal? 😭