Relationship problem

Okay, this is going to be long. Since it's going to be about my love life. But bare with me if you're bored and want to read something and input your opinions, feel free too!

So this guy and I been talking for 11 months now. I met him in 2017, but he didn't pursue me because I wasn't interested and he wasn't ready either.

I went to college and got in a relationship for 5 months and my ex broke up with me. Apperantly he claim he was lost and needed to find himself again. Found out when we took a short break, he cheated, kissing another girl he used to talk to before me. I was very hurt because I wanted things to work out and I didnt know anything until a friend told me. Totally put my wall up and didn't want to get in any relationship.

The guy who I met in 2017 magically appear again. He is friends with a few of my family member so there was that connection. I came back down to the city for the summer and we hit it off. He was trying so hard to get to know me and hang out. I just wanted to have fun so I decided to hangout with him. We would do activities together and hangout with some of my friends sometimes. We both got close throughout the months. He developed feelings for me but I didnt want to get in a relationship yet so I basically friend zone him for a couple months. However, I start developing feelings and we both started doing things couples would do. But we never claim each other. He respect me enough and was fine if we have a title or not. He asked me to be his gf once but I rejected him and tell him if he's around long enough to that very day he asked me out, I will go out with him.

It's going to be a year with him. From my feelings and what I went through, this honestly felt like a real relationship even though we never claimed each other. We fight and we make up. We speak out our mind and is very true to how we are feeling or thinking. Let's say he's the first to ever bring out the worst in me? I think it's good? I also think bad. I never know how bad I can get. This guy just pushes my button with his bluntness because thats who he is. However he also have a soft and sweet side of him too. And I know that his feelings for me is sincere. And that brings me to realize that nobody is perfect. But can I deal with this once i do get myself in a commited relationship? My previous relationships, it was either me trying to make it work or there was no communication and really...fake and for the social media only for one of my ex.

Idk where I'm going with this but...just another problem about relationship 😂😅