5 Year Relationship Ends

I dated a guy for 5 years. The relationship ended back in November of this last year. I know it’s only been three months. The relationship ended because he was emotionally abusive, his family and friends were extremely toxic, and i was constantly crying (I’m not a very emotional person). He was mean. He was very mean. We’ve both moved on, but I can’t help but feel sad and I’m angry at myself for missing him. I dont know if I’m missing the relationship I thought we had, or if I’m missing him because he was my person for 5 years, or what. For any of you who were in a long term relationship and it ended do you have any advice for getting through it? And the series of emotions you felt? I just need some guidance. I’m 22 and don’t really know how to do this....