Always Me, Myself and I Alone forever

This sounds stupid but I want to feel heart break and love, and every emotion that a relationship has ( hopefully not the heartbreak😂). I have never been in a relationship and as bad as this sounds I don’t want to have one relationship and get married to that person, I wanna have a range of them and it’s stupid for me think that but, I have met couples that have divorced cause they have only ever been with each other and they just got bored, And I get it, it’s based on your emotions and strong feeling towards your significant other but I have always been worried that the first boyfriend i have will be the only person I will ever be with. I’m 18 and overthinking but I just want it, and I’m trying not to look for it but I just can’t stop thinking about it, all my friends are in relationships or have been in a few and I’m still haven’t had my first kiss, still a Virgin ( not that it’s a priority for me to lose, if I do it will be with someone special) but what do I do, I try put myself out there but I don’t want to too much cause I don’t want to be needy. I just want someone who will listen to me and Love me. What do I do cause it keeps me up at night, what if I’m going to be like Susan Boyle and not be with anyone till I’m like 53 or something 😭🙁