Frustrated w/ Hubby

I will acknowledge I am super stressed out about my maternity leave ending and returning to work. My hubby is not the type to help out at home. I made a comment about us both working full time that it was only fair that we take turns with dinner. He was silent 😑 My last few weeks of leave were unpaid as we waited for an opening in our childcare facility. So we have had to budget and was doing well. He is frustrated that I did not do our taxes earlier but again never offered to help in anyway to get them done - buy the software, watch the kids, or even do them. So now because we aren’t getting our refund when he wanted, he just spending stupid money- making a large payment on his credit card and purchases unnecessary kitchen appliances. I just don’t get it! Slightly over 300$ which we could have used to pay our utilities.

My daughter, who is 4, asked me why I hadn’t cleaned the dishes from the table yet from an earlier meal. My husband lectured her on how it isn’t my job and that “we” can all help take care of our home. The amount of cuss words that streamed through my head, I remained silent. Then immediately following lunch they both left their dishes on the table, kitchen messy to go watch a movie. When I try to talk about with him (I am already mad because baby was napping, I was pumping, and 4 year old was throwing a fit only to wake baby, as husband laid across our bed TV blaring on his phone)... I was hostile. It didn’t go well. He said he would go clean the kitchen, fully well knowing I had already done it. He turns over to focus on his phone, end of conversion.

I worry for our relationship when I return to work. If I’m communicating (hostilely) now and I’m at home, I can only imagine me working. How do you approach someone who just has zero awareness when it comes to maintaining our home? We have had conversations when I am less hostile. He has said multiple times “I wish i was as good a husband as I am a worker.” [In my head... yeah me too. If my husband spent half the time he did that he did at the gym participating in our family things would a whole lot different]. I say, we can’t all be good at everything, you take care of our family the best way you know how. He replies you have mastered multiple roles. [Yep.]

Well, apparently there was some rage in me because this post is not at all how I originally thought it would be, LOL-ish.