I had my abortion today.

I was a mess the whole day.. and kept asking myself, why does no one else here look sad? why am I the only one crying? Why can't I stop crying?

I never thought ever in my life, I would be in these shoes, having to make this decision, choosing whether to continue or end a life.

I wish I could have done what I wanted, I wish I could have let it grow and blossom so badly. I wanted you so badly and even though I was given no choice, ultimately it was me who consented to end your life, I will mourn you for the rest of mine.

From the moment I knew you were there, I dreamt of you peacefully nursing in my arms, gazing into your beautiful eyes and I know I will dream of you every single day passing.

I loved you so much but I failed you, and I failed my beliefs, my morals and my heart.

You took a piece of me with you today and I hope that piece will guide you back to me one day.

I'm sorry.