I feel so miserable

In my marriage. I don’t know how to let go. Every day when I wake up I’m so unhappy everyday. I just don’t know why it’s so hard for me to leave? We been together six years. I hate myself because I’m miserable but I’m also making my husband miserable as well. He hates when I’m in a bad mood or bitchy. I tried to go out with my best friend tonight and he had a fit saying that how come I prefer being with my friend then him? Like really? I’m home most of the time. We stay in the country and I’m far away from family and friends. I just wanted to go out with my friend and have a good time at least. I don’t know what stopping me of walking away. Sometimes I just feel like I don’t want to live anymore. Why do w shave to live in this fucked up world for? We didn’t ask to be here? I just feel like this world is so fucked up now. I miss being happy and feeling confident. I miss putting makeup and dressing good. I don’t now what to do I’m scared to leave because I don’t want to regret anything in my life anymore. I also have my son to think about. Is someone in the same situation?