I'M STUCK IN THIS DIFFICULT CONFUSING SITUATION SOS!!!

Sooo my boyfriend and i not been having a healthy communication from last 6 months now no calls, not much texts and ya meeting so its obvious that we do not. I know you may think I'm crazy or stupid for being with him after all this but there's a reason behind this its his work (I doubt sometimes whether what he has told me and is telling is true or not but I don't have any proof so i just believe what he says) now I cannot disclose it here what his work actually is but just know it's a little serious and he mentioned this thing to me the very first day we decided to be in a relationship and I agreed saying im gonna be fine with it. now his work requires him to be away for months and it is never specific for how much time it can be 3 months 6, a year whatsoever. it's been 1.5 years since we together and this is my first time encountering this with him now im doing fine and im being completely loyal to him not for once i had this thought of cheating on him even though my sex drive is very high!! I still control myself coz for me loyalty means alott and i take karma seriously. Now he texted me almost a month ago saying he will meet me soon and that he'll get free soon and since then he text me sometimes but it's less he will be active on instagram specially for quite alot but won't text me much I'm fine with it coz as per him he is at work now I don't bother him much and believe that he will text me when he can so he keep saying he will come to my city and see me soon and blah blah everything seemed fine now i have clinical depression and severe anxiety and last 3 days just not been good so i text him today tryna talk so i can clear my head out so i tell him "im not doing fine and i feel like something is not positive about you or between us and i know and hope it isn't like this but that nagging negative voice is taking over" he be like "see i love you alot but this may be more hard and I don't want you to trouble yourself over this" i felt like he is asking me to leave him indirectly he says "im not askinh you to leave me i'd never want that if you can wait then there is nothing i can be happy about" then he says "if it's getting hard for you to wait for me for 6 months or a year then i allow you to use tinder if you want" i was like wtffff i will never allow the same thing to him he says im telling you this coz "i know you got needs" i said I don't want to be in an open relationship I didn't sign up for this and i got really upset and angry coz i would never want or imagined my partner saying this thing to me I want him to be possessive about me not let me sleep with other guys. I got this feeling maybe he is fucking around with someone so out of guilt or to even things he suggested me this idea but idk i asked this thing to him so he says "im not fucking around i'll never i'd end things with you before" i mean ya ya obviously do thief ever tells he is a thief? No right? but i don't know I'm really upset and i feel devastated rn not able to figure what is the right thing to do at the moment do i end things with him? Ignore this thing by considering it a random suggestion? Or wait until i meet him and clear things out face to face??? PLEASE HELP ME!!!