Weeping

Went to bed early last night because I was feeling too well. I get occasional attacks of vertigo and normally I’d take some pills, and be right as rain the next day. Now that I’m pregnant I’ve pretty much had to give that up, unless it’s an absolute emergency.

The feeling of being dizzy and being unable to control one’s balance is traumatic enough, now coupled with pregnancy hormones it’s like the worst emotional bomb ever.

This morning I woke up and I knew I wanted the day to be over already. My mood was grey and possibly stormy. My guy asked me to do the nursery school drop off for him, for his 3 year old. Toddler tantrums at their best, but he seemed to be in a good place. That is until we had to leave. Now bear in mind, that I’m already feeling far more sensitive and people unfriendly than usual. His nanny asks him nicely to get into the car. I ask nicely too, the calmly but this guy was not having it and guess what never was I. So there he is wailing in the garage, car doors open and a standoff of note. Then I lost it!

I didn’t quite yell but I used that stern voice of god that parents have, that means here they are not playing with me. That got him quiet and into the car. On the way, I apologized because I knew better.

Anyway this story is long enough but my point is I’m very sad and weepy today. I should stay in bed but I’m choosing to go to work, because I don’t have the energy to cry all day.