I’m so confused :(

Husband was adamant about a vasectomy before I gave birth. I give birth and he hasn’t mentioned it again. Okay no biggie. He told me I need to hurry up and get on something so I do. During the first week he looked at them and smirked to make sure I’d been taking them lol. After a week into my birth control pack he tells me to stop taking them. He thinks they affect me too emotionally..So I do. We haven’t had sex yet as of my period (he doesn’t like too,nothing wrong if ya do)

Now I’m rethinking my decision Bc I don’t want to rely on him to always wear condoms (we never use them or he puts one on, takes it off and then pulls out) when I know it’ll be me the one carrying the baby and giving birth and breasfeedkng it and mainly be responsible while he’s working. So would it be wrong too secretly take them again? I really don’t want another child so soon and I really don’t know what to do Wouldn’t he rather me be a little emotional then have another child lol I’m really not understanding his brain I told him if we got pregnant he couldn’t be mad at me