Struggling w/ Addiction

My boyfriend and I kind of had to hide our relationship (we still kind of do) my parents do not like him at all and as an adult I see him still and I sleep over every other weekend. Ive met his parents and brothers some cousins and we’ve been together for nearly 2 years. I love him, we’ve got something great and our sexlife is crazy. Although we have a long distance relationship he’s a city away, we call every night and whenever I get insecure he reassures me that I’m all he wants. The only issue is that I’ve been using again, I haven’t told him either, I told him I did it yesterday but I kind of went on a binge and have been for the past 4 days. I missed an appointment I made with a counselor about me believing I have an addiction. I’m terrified that he’d hate me. Should I tell him or should I get help first?