Stress after miscarriage...normal or not?

I was 8.5 weeks and I had a feeling to go to the ER. Baby had no heartbeat and had died a day or two before and I had a blood infection. I had an emergency d&c, and was pretty grief stricken.

They said I would feel better in a few days but in reality it took me around 10 days to fully recover. I spent the first 5 in bed, but after that went to work, saw clients, took my son back and forth to school, etc. Whenever I was home I went to bed because I had bad cramping and just wanted to rest my body and my heart.

It was his first pregnancy and he’s 33. He wants kids really, really bad, and told me from the start of our relationship his biological clock is ticking. But when we finally decided to try together, as a couple, it took 8 or 9 cycles for a positive. My guy has always been great to me and he was sooo good and sweet to me ever since we found out I was pregnant, he was an angel at the hospital when I lost it, and held my hand the entire time. Afterwards he took great care of me during my recovery.

But as SOON as I started to feel normal- about 10 days after D&C, he started acting like a huge jerk. Saying I was laying around in bed for 3 weeks! And what would I have done without him, that he had to take care of everything! (I was only in bed for 5 days, and well, come on!look at what I went through!) He started saying mean, horrible things about my character that are absolutely not true. During this time he swung heavily back and forth between being apologetic and accusatory, between rage and crying heavily, and also mentioned suicide a few times. Because of this I stayed with him, encouraged him to get help, and talked him through it. He was like this for about 3 or 4 days in a row and it was absolute hell. He’s never acted this way before.

He’s been back to himself the last few days and has been apologizing constantly, saying he was blaming me for the pain he was feeling and that he knows it was not OK and that he feels terrible about it. He keeps telling me I saved his life and how grateful he is for me.

I understand he held it together during those first 10 days and that maybe he just reached a breaking point. I do remember him saying things to me during the first few days about how we had to ‘get past it’ but I was thinking to myself, okay, yes of course, but it’s only been a few days! So reflecting back, maybe he was pushing his feelings away too much at first.

I really love him deeply but now I can’t get the things he said and the way he behaved out of my head and part of me just wants to kick him out and call it quits. Do I need to take this as a huge red flag or is this a normal grief reaction? Any advice is appreciated...