Not feeling it

So last night my boyfriend got angry with me over something trivial and I felt angry however at the same time I felt oddly calm like I was just over everything.

There’s often times where I don’t even want to go out with him because he gets angry over small things that cause him to lash out, and claim I ruin everything because I get butthurt over what he tells me. Which is true but I don’t ever tell him anything im not egging him on over anything and then he gets upset and continues on because I’m upset.. he’s the one that just pushes it. he claims its probably his ocd...I may not understand it completely but the way he lashes out really just rubs me the wrong way. We had gone out to get food and by the time we got home he literally threw his food in the trash because I declined eating in the car but told him he can go ahead and eat his food but he refused and the way I saw it, he was just throwing a tantrum because it’s not the way he wants to do it. On the ride home he was claiming he’s gonna throw it away because it won’t be fresh.

Then when I was at a stop and at a road where traffic is coming both ways there was a guy jogging and when I had looked to my left he lashed out saying I’m a hoe cause I was supposedly checking him out just because I had looked to the left but keep in mind I’m at a stop where I have to look both ways...I didn’t have my attention on him, was I just not supposed to look to check for oncoming traffic and hope I get lucky crossing all the way through.

He even had his fist up ready to punch me threatening to if I was lying to him about it. Then I felt he snapped out of it momentarily after speaking I forgot what i had said but I’d assume it’s because I was being calm over everything so it didn’t set him overboard.

This is all over the place and I didnt put the order of events in order but I’m assuming it’s easy to understand.

Later on he came to me and apologized. He told me pretty much blacked out and didn’t realize what he was doing. He said he felt like he was watching through a window and couldn’t stop himself or control himself but yet he knew that he was behaving badly. He even explained to me why he wanted things done a certain way and I understand his reasons but the way he goes about it makes it seem like he’s being an asshole.

I mean I liked that he apologized because he hardly ever does but I’m just not content with everything.

Felt like breaking up with him then and there after he had cooled down. However I can never bring myself to do it, I’ve thought about ending it multiple times. Yet I don’t.

I’ve told him he needs to be able to control his anger but he doesn’t know how and neither do I.