Anyone else scared to be a first time mom?

I’ve been praying and hoping for a child. I knew I always wanted to be a mom. In fact, my full time position is a Nanny. I’m surrounded by kids all the time and used to the madness. I bond with them and love them.

I’m just scared of change in my own life. I doubt my own ability to raise a child of my own. I’m scared of doing things wrong.

My own family life was hard and I don’t want my child to go through what I went through.

I know a lot of being a mom is having grace for yourself. It’s common to feel like we aren’t doing “enough”.

Financially it’s stressful as well. I live in a one bedroom apartment in the city with my husband. Rent is insane and I’m dreaming of having a space for the baby.

I see other people decorating a nursery and know I may not have that. I have to be content with simplicity and just the thankfulness that I get a baby in my arms after two hard losses. And as scared as I am for change, I’m even more scared for another loss...

Sorry if this is rambling, I guess your mind never stops when you’re pregnant. Just thought I’d find a space to rant and see if anyone can relate.

God bless!