Baby blues & ppd

After I had my son I definitely didn’t think certain things would happen like baby blues.. I’ve heard of it but never thought I’d experience it then I started realizing that baby blues doesn’t last that long & up until 3 months later I’m still going through this depression..

I do have happy moments but out of no where I get super depressed that I even cry the whole time it’s so frustrating.

I love my baby so much & I put him first before anything but I feel like I suck as a mom sometimes or I have something in the back of my head always putting me down & telling me I shouldn’t be here anymore . I don’t really talk about it to anyone or haven’t mentioned it to my doctor because I don’t want to be considered an unfit mother . I love being a mom but I hate the depression it won’t leave me alone . Lots of my friends are mothers but they’ve never experienced this & it makes me feel so alone & idk how long this is going to last or how long it’s supposed to last ..