TERRIFIED!! Anyone else having a natural/water birth??

Hello lovely ladies! This is baby #4 for me and my first boy and LAST baby. I have two daughters from a previous marriage and I did both of those labor/births without my ex husband (military family), it was easy, I had an epidural both times and both my girls came out just fine.

My current husband and I have 1 daughter together and we’re preggo with our little boy. My husband asked if I would consider a natural birth.

Here’s why:

With my 3rd daughter I had a severe reaction to the epidural that caused my blood pressure to go so low that I kept losing consciousness and needed to stay on oxygen. It was really scary for me but my husband couldn’t handle seeing me like that. I swear he has worse PTSD than I do about the epidural.

The other reason is that he wants to go through this experience with me. He says he felt like a spectator when I was in labor with my 3rd and he felt helpless. I didn’t need him and the OB and nurses did everything for me. Even when it came to pushing, she was so little that I pushed twice and she was out. He wants to have an actual “experience” since this is our last baby.

The other issue is that I’m having a hard time bonding with this pregnancy. I’m so used to girls and was never really hoping for a boy, and it’s just hard for me to connect with this one like I did my girls. He’s hoping that if I go through a “real” labor and have this incredible natural birth experience that I will bond with our son.

Anyway. ALL that being said, I’ve let him talk me into having this baby in a birthing center (NOT a hospital) and having a water birth. We’re going to start classes in a few weeks to prepare and use the alternative pain methods and go through our options.

But. I. Am. Freaking. Terrified.