I feel like a bad wife

I texted my husband this about an hour ago asking him if he thinks I’m a bad wife. I told him to be honest and that I would not get upset, I really wanted to know. Of course he said no, followed by asking me if I feel like a bad wife. Yes, yes I do. I’m not attentive to his needs, and when he ask for sex or oral I either say I’m tired, (I usually am, cause we usually do this around bed time) or I say tomorrow and when tomorrow comes so does the excuses.

As he was leaving for work this morning he said to me “ If you’re not attractive to me, tell me” that hurts to hear him say that because he obviously feels that way. But that’s not true. I love my husband. And I am attracted to him.

I am just never in the mood. I rarely even masturbate. I was even like this before we got married. Obviously when we started dating the sex was on all the time, but then it slowly started to stop.. even before the engagement. I never wanted it to happen like this. I’ve been asked, “ if your history cheated, how would you feel?” My usual response is.... I wouldn’t be surprised, because I never have the urge, therefore he find it somewhere else. Would I be mad? Not at him.

I’ve been told by doctors I have a hormone imbalance. And I have been diagnosed with depression. So I definitely know these play a big part.

I hate feeling this way. I want to want to have the urge to have sex. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I apologize if my post was all over the place. I just wanted to express the way I feel