Be honest, it's it selfish?

Question

Is it selfish for me to wanna use a surrogate? Because my boyfriend doesn't agree with it. I wanna use one because I'm terrified of the pregnancy process. I don't wanna mess up my body and on top of this I have extreme self esteem issues, body dysmorphia, and depression. I'm looking out for my mental health, and I know if I carry a child it would be hell for me mentally. I tried explaining it to him but he doesn't understand...
Is this stupid?

Answer

Maybe you should get some help for all of that before you guys even think about having a baby.
To not want to ruin your body over a baby is not normal thinking for someone who wants to be a mum I would cut my leg off for my child.
Using a surrogate isn’t selfish but if your already worried about all of that , all of that can still happen even if you don’t carry a child. You can still get depressed. 
100% go get some Counciling and go from there but you don’t sound ready to take on the responsibility of looking after another life

Answer

You do not sound mentally stable for that.

Answer

I think you should probably see a counselor about those things anyway. It’s not necessarily wrong to want to use a surrogate. Is it selfish just to keep your body? Kind of. But keep in mind that it’s absolutely possible to get your body back after having a baby. That being said, having a baby involves a lot of sacrificing yourself. Not just physical changes during pregnancy. You won’t have as much time to work out, you’ll lose energy from taking care of a newborn. There’s all sorts of things you’ll have to give up and I feel if you’re not ready to sacrifice your body for a simple 9 month time frame, are you really prepared to sacrifice a mountain of things for the rest of your life?

Answer

I guess I’m the odd man out when I say no it’s not selfish. I do agree you should talk to someone but fixing body dysmorphia and all that isn’t an overnight process. I have similar views as you since there’s no way in hell I’d purposely gain weight and feel shitty for 9 months. I have other medical reasons why I want to use a surrogate or adopt though too so I guess our situations are a little different. I’ve worked hard for my body and my career and I know I would probably end up resenting my man and the baby if I ever got pregnant so I understand where you’re coming from. If you want to use a surrogate or adopt, then that’s your decision 👍🏼

Answer

I was in the same boat only I ended up getting pregnant without even trying.. my mental state got really bad and I actually tried overdosing twice. I would talk to a professional about this honestly and see if they can offer medication during your pregnancy to help. Having a surrogate for this reason isn’t selfish! But you may regret it one day looking back. Pregnancy is rough but once its all over it’s a nice experience to have.

Answer

yes it’s selfish, but selfishness isn’t inherently a bad thing. 
i think you have every right to pursue it regardless of what your bf thinks. it’s not his body so it’s really not his choice.

Be honest, it's it selfish?

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