Child wetting self on purpose

My son is in daycare. He’s been in for almost 3 months now. He’s 3 (4 in August) and it’s a new adjustment for all of us. He’s stayed at home with me for 3 & a half years. At first, it was a huge deal getting him to not show himself. He’d try to run out the door, wouldn’t want us to put him down.. this still happens but he does have his good days. The bad days definitely outweigh the good days though. I’ve had reports of him hitting the teachers, throwing things, running out the door.. etc. we’ve tried talking to him & he seems to understand but nothing changes. Last night, we told him we’d start taking things such as toys or things he likes doing. Of course, I drop him off today & the food lady stops me saying he was spitting at her, throwing things, peeing on himself on purpose with him saying it’s bc he wants to, hitting the teacher, throwing shoes. I apologize & make him apologize. I get to his classroom & his teacher says the same thing. We apologize again. I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do. He gets in trouble at home so it’s not like we enable him. I need help 😭 he doesn’t do this at home. He does try to hit when he doesn’t get his way but we correct it. He talks back, he gets in trouble. But I fee bad leaving him at school doing this.