First time breaking down 😭😞😩

My son is about to turn 12 and I stopped take birth control when he turned 2. I was pretty sad to hear everyone around me was getting pregnant, but me. After so many years and never getting a bfp I stopped trying. Since last year in April I finally made an appointment with a fertility clinic, did all the test, 2 failed hsg, and laparoscopy to find out left tube was blocked and removed a lot of polyp in my uterus, semen analysis(good) and all that before doing 4 iui. They all failed with good size follicles! Took clomid day 3-7 estrace day 8-12 and trigger shot on day 14. I never told my family that I did iui only my bff and my coworkers. Last night was the first night I cried after a glass 🍷 knowing my period just started again. I never missed it, it always comes on time. I don’t know what to do anymore, after taking to my husband he said might as well go all the way so I guess I’ll call the clinic back about ivf. Oh btw I’m 36 which I know that doesn’t help.